Psst! God Love Me Anyway
Each day, I try to spend time in prayer and reading the word of God. Sometimes as I mediate on God and his goodness, my heart leaps as his words jump out at me. They teach me, and uplift me while providing the strength to keep going. Other times, for long periods, it seems as if the bible is another book full of adventure and colorful stories.
In previous times, when God’s word did not speak to my heart, if was as if a part of me believed that he was asleep and had to be awakened by my constant prayers and cries. Only then would he take notice of me. Growing up in a strict religion, this was how I learned to get God’s help. The way I prayed reminds me of a funny passage in the bible wherein Elijah, one of God’s prophets, makes fun of prophets of Baal. Kings 18:27 (KJV) says “And it came to pass at noon, that Elijah mocked them, and said, Cry aloud: for he is a god; either he is talking, or he is pursuing, or he is in a journey, or peradventure he sleepeth, and must be awaked.” Never be mistaken, God is not like this. He knows everything I go through and is concerned about my welfare as well.
The danger in feeling that God was far away from me, was that I believed he was not really listening to me. Since he was not going to help, I would have to do it my way and then ask him to bless my endeavors. I took my life back into my own hands, and like so many others, I did the things I wanted to do. As I will always confess, most of time, I ended up doing something contrary to his will; it often ended up not as I expected. A lot of the stuff I did over the years only fulfilled temporarily gratifications with no real personal satisfaction; in some cases, the world would call it falling out of love and in others burnout.
Nevertheless, God in his goodness was always there to pick me up, and help me get back on course. His call on my life, and everyone else’s, is without repentance. His word tells me, he will never leave me or forsake me. Today, I hold those words sacred in my heart and soul. Now, when convictions for not being perfect before God falls upon me, no longer do I shamefully push myself away from him. In these times, I have learned to move closer to him; understanding that he knows my weakness and wants to help me in grow in those areas. This is the key is, do not let your convictions immobilize you, taking you away from God; just ask for his forgiveness and continue in his love.
This is not to say that I did not learn from the situation, or feel discomfort because of it. Even if I did not suffer any negative consequences because of my actions, I did not want to continue being disobedient to God’s will either. In fact, when I know that I have fallen away from God desires, I then seek harder to be better next time.
One day while meditating on my mistakes, I told myself I was unworthy of his of his love or his help. However, the Holy Spirit brought to my remembrance two things.
1. God is love, and he loved you and me from the beginning. That is why he sent his son down in flesh to die for us and suffer for our sins and mistakes.
2. Next, he reminded me of a man in the bible that loved God. Like you and me, he was not perfect. Although this man knew God’s destiny for his life, and God blessed him greatly, he still made a huge mistake. This man had everything that many today desire; wealth, power, and love from those around him; however, the man’s fallen human nature took over. He took another man’s wife, and after getting her pregnant, he killed her husband to keep his little mishap a secret.
Of course, many of you know that I am talking about King David. A king of the people of Israel in the Old Testament of the bible; having so much prosperity, rest from his enemies, and no battles to fight, I guess he grew bored; (David had many wives and concubines, he did not lack physical companionship, and did not need the woman.)
I enjoy the story of King David because he loved God. He fell to his knees and begged God for forgiveness when the prophet of God rebuked him; he did not try to make any excuses, and most importantly, he did not live in his conviction and turn away from God.
I know God’s love is true; I have experienced it in my own personal life and I want to tell you of his goodness. God is love, and he is always there gently nudging me to where he wants me. He is never asleep. In those times I consider dry, I remember that God is still with me and he is working in my life, although it does not feel like it.
Psst! God Love Me Anyway