Remember Your Core
It seems that for some of us, compromise is an important part of our daily lives which is nothing odd because it has been a standard practice since we were children and taught that if we wanted to be good, we would cooperate. Parents forced us to allow others to play with our toys, share our precious treats, and watch cartoons that we didn’t particular care to see; but, for our brother or sister’s sake, and to be valued members of the family, we cooperated with others, or as I would like to call it, compromised. So at a young age, we were conditioned to give in. However, I am sure our parent’s never meant to plant seeds that would one day breed desires within us to disregard our deepest principles.
When we grow up, still possessing the desire to get along and give in to please others, we compromise as adults. Who we marry, what university we are going to attend, where we are going to live, what clothing we wear, and occasionally, even our actions conflict with our values. One thing let me point out, I am not against compromise because we would have the world full of anarchy and selfishness, beyond what we are experiencing now if we did not learn to give in sometimes. What I speak of, is a compromise of the soul or mind, committing actions that violate who you are as a person and eventually lead you down a path of loss of identity.
Over my years on this earth, I have seen people make deadly compromises, even myself, for things we longed for, and regardless of the costs we were prepared to do anything and forsake everything thing we knew to attain our goal. I find this evident across generations, because when I talk with older people, those similar to the ones I mentioned above, always they have a story to tell and the words “I should have, but” always finds its way into the conversation.
I knew a girl once, she was from a large family, and in her youth, all she wanted was to have lots of kids; she also possessed the dream of having a white picket fence and station wagon to haul all of her children in along with her loving husband. Her skin smooth, a beautiful chocolate brown, her face had no blemishes, and she was lovely, and the prettiest girl in her neighborhood. With her attractive appearance and nice conservative dress, she suitors always plagued her; finally, she grew into a young woman and found a man with money, had success, and in a way, somewhat of an icon in the community. She had found the love of her life, and she always smiled proudly when the two them strolled around the town, hung out at the local spots, and went clubbing together.
The young woman felt the man was her dream, but gradually, we all say her began to change. Her dress went from conservation clothing and turned into short dresses, halter tops, and booty shorts and high heels. As her heart turned from her beginnings, she turned her back on God, grew to self-important for her friends, left her family and moved from her hometown miles away. Now a woman, she learned to exist in his world only, but he never married her, made her share his love with other women, and most importantly, she never had any children because he did not want her to. I wish I could say she had the strength to leave him, but she did not. However, they did separate after he threw her out. She never returned home, and the rest of her story is unknown to us, but one day they found her body near the train tracks in her hometown.
Of course, this is an extreme example of someone compromising who they are, the majority of us are not that unlucky; but nevertheless, when we make compromises against our soul, we lose a bit of ourselves each day. A female, I see the compromises of other females and having lived through some of them, they are immediately recognizable. Mainly they are those of love, and as of yet, I have not found a happy ending; in those that have excess nor in those who survive from paycheck to paycheck. Such horror stories I have heard and witnessed. Some of the dear women I encounter have defeated behaviors so entwined within them, they live stuck in low self-esteem and lack of confidence, when they don’t realize their real beauty and strength. I was one of these women, but God through Jesus and the beautiful Holy Spirit helped me to know who I am.
Its effects may not outwardly be noticeable, but compromise infects the soul or mind, causing a loss of dreams, loss of self-respect or dignity, and sometimes even those that love us. We turn to alcohol, drugs, self-destruction, and do other terrible things to ourselves and others.
Compromise of the soul never produces lasting results, but when we refuse to accept a lower standard than we have set for ourselves, we maintain our identity while strengthening our hearts to wait patiently for Mr. right, that good job, or lasting success. It might take a bit longer but when you believe, and God and his promises, persistence, and patience are rewarding.